For the Love of Writing...: Brain power

Ladies, I cannot take it anymore.

I must blog about this.

You might think it's a bit "ranty" (I just made that word up). However, we are doing a disservice toward ourselves and the men around us. Don't worry. This rant is complete with pictures.

And it's because I love you.

I deal with young women quite a bit. I pretty much still am one, but I'm working my way up the ladder to being an "older" young woman if that's possible. Also, this married status of mine gives me a glimpse into the man world that a young single girl can't even imagine. It's enlightening, scary, and smells funny at times.

See, a younger me!

This is a difficult subject to discuss because girls get offended when I say modesty and I say very specific clothing articles like if I said (for a very extreme example we can all agree on) "Wearing your bikini to Wal Mart is not modest." Someone out there would disagree with me and think things like. "I look good in my bikini," "I wear it for me," or "It's my body, I do what I want."

I get it. I've been there. I've thought that. It wasn't until I was in a very serious relationship that I really understood just how my clothing effects the inner workings of a man's brain.

My dear sweet husband has explained it in a very understandable and delicate way. He said "Just assume, that whatever amount of skin you are showing, a guy imagines three times as much."

I have a girl brain too and I understand that sounds silly. We generally don't catch ourselves picturing men on the street in tube tops when they are wearing t-shirts, but, ladies, we have heard it straight from the most honest man in the world.

Anyway, after much trial, but mostly error with clothing choices... I have a few pieces of advice.

1. More is more. I have found myself making excuses like "well, I just can't find longer shorts than this", or "When I lose the 5 pounds I'm working on, this will fit more like it should so I'll just keep wearing it." Whatever the excuse is that you have in your head for not covering yourself is a bad one. Just keep in mind that our dear brothers in Christ struggle every day with keeping their minds pure.

2. If you have to do a summersault twisty splits jump to get into your jeans or jeggings, they may not be the best choice. I have put my foot in my mouth before about this subject. I was in front of a group of girls and telling a story about how I bought a pair of jeggings and because of my figure was cat called 7 times a day every time I wore them. I'm not saying no one should ever wear jeggings (which is what some of the girls there listening, wearing jeggings, thought.) Please, consider your body type, the place you are going, and if the tightness of your clothing is distracting. That's all I'm saying.

A funny story- I was in the mall not too long ago with my husband and one of our friends who is a guy. They saw a girl walk by while I was shopping and were appalled. They asked me to find her in the store and make sure she was wearing pants. I found her. They were just very short lace shorts. I learned a valuable lesson that day. To men, Lace = Underwear. Especially if it's super short.

3. Being cat called is not a compliment. When I was younger I ate up this attention. It was even to the point sometimes that if I walked past a guy who I thought should have smiled at me or made a comment to me and he didn't I would go through a dialogue in my head about what must be obviously wrong with the way I look. The past few years I have come to understand that this type of attention is degrading to me. In fact, now it just makes me angry. I recently told Lucas that the next time someone does this to me I'm going to stop and calmly say "I'm married, please have some respect for me and for my husband."

Now, you may not be married, but you might be some day and just like when we freely give away our physical affection, spiritual intimacy, or emotional intimacy to a man who is not our husband, accepting this attention as good is just settling for second best (or third or fourth or fifth). I encourage you to only accept respect and treat yourself as a woman worthy of such. (Not to sound all Sunday school-y but..) Your future husband should treat you as Christ treats the church, being willing to sacrifice himself for you. A cat calling coward is not making any sacrifice for you and is only making himself look like a fool.

I know that fashion is always evolving and I love looking cute as much as the next girl, but we must find a standard for dressing and hold dearly to it regardless of fashion trends. Is there a way that I might confuse the shorts you are wearing for underwear?

Just so you would believe me about this, I asked the most honest man in the world to pick out the most modest outfit he could from my closet for me...