Beauty's Perception

This is a thought that I shared today at BCM lunch that I would really like to expand on.

A lie that many college students, young women in particular, believe is: "I'm more beautiful now than I'll ever be."

Hallelujah for the young years in our lives, they are a time of growth, exploration, and for many the peek of physical fitness and good looks. Our culture tells us that young people are to be highly valued, and anyone who is not young, but looks young is doing something right. We love our youth, and we love our beauty. I think this belief lead to the "I don't want to grow up" phenomenon.

So, many people don't grow up. They live a life just trying to grasp on to the youth they once had instead of fully engaging the present. Besides that some people go to the extreme and refuse to dress like a grown up. You know those people you see who are like 40, but they wear the same clothes as the 19 year old students I see every day. It's just so awkward. Often times, that is a person who is grasping onto youth and trying to appear "young." (Not to step on any stylish toes, but I must say it).

The truth is that as we follow Christ, we mature and many of our perceptions of the world evolve. As we know Him more, our perception of what beauty is evolves.

For example:

This picture is me at age 16. At this point in my life, I diligently chased being as thin as I could and still eat some amount of food (certainly not enough). My perception of beauty was that I had to be thin and if my collar bone didn't stick out 2 inches, I was not thin enough.

As I matured (and got hungry) I realized that God did not make my body to be stick thin. Some of us are meant to be more curvy than others, and that is okay. As I found my value in Christ I found more value in the way my body looked, and actually became more satisfied with the way I looked. 

The truth is the older we get, the more our body deteriorates. We won't always look 20, and that's okay because God made us this way. While at 20 your body looks great, your mind and heart have a long way to go. 

Also, as we grow and mature in the Lord, our perception of what is beautiful changes. I am a married woman now, and I think that having a godly marriage is absolutely beautiful and I'm doing a lot more to work toward that than physical beauty, and I believe the Lord approves. When I get older and have children I imagine that my family unit will be absolutely beautiful. (I'm already tearing up thinking about it).

My prayer is that we can grasp on to what the Lord sees as beautiful in a person, and that is when we grasp onto God and seek him with all we are. 

Proverbs 31:30 Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

I want to leave a legacy of love from the Lord. Let everything we do be beautiful in his eyes!

To All the Single Ladies

Girls, we've talked a few times about this no settling business, but I really need you to know how important this is. It's not just a worldly issue of "you could do better." It's a spiritual issue. Settling for less in a man than what God expects a man to be is simply unbiblical.

God gives us his Word and Spirit so that we can know Him more, so doing anything contrary to either of these is sin. Yep, sin. It sounds a lot more serious now, eh?

Let me tell it to you this way: when you do find your man and choose to marry him, you will have a beautiful wedding, wonderful showers, a great honeymoon, and then you will come home to real life. Don't get me wrong, real life is a beautiful thing, and living with and loving a person through all its ups and downs is beyond rewarding and beyond worth it. However, if you ever find yourself with a man who has undesirable characteristics before you are married, I promise, those little annoyances will EXPLODE after. I used to hear people say this truth when I was single and I thought I understood, but I did not. Beyond that, any issue you have that might be annoying to another person will also explode after marriage.

Sometimes you will feel like this.

Beyond that, problems that you didn't even know that you had will rear their ugly head and you will find out just how sinful you can be.

Marriage really is beautiful because it refines a person in a very comparable way to how a relationship with God refines his church (I see what ya did there, God).

What's the reason for all these little issues exploding? (You ask).

Let me tell you. It's is the result of sin. (As is every evil). No matter how much we try to make ourselves be a certain way, we each have a propensity toward some sin. Each relational issue you have is the result of sin. For example, my honest man loves to watch movies. I am cool with movies, but I'm not a fanatic, I can't remember them after I've watched them, and if I'm not in the perfect mood to watch one, I just can't pay attention. Sometimes Lucas will want to watch a movie, and I really don't but I can't expect him to want to do everything I do, so I will watch the movie with him. However, often times I'll make fun of the movie, or just get on my phone and not even try to enjoy it with him. This makes him feel like I'm not trying to enjoy time with him and I'm just still doing whatever I want to do, all the while saying that I want to watch the movie when I really don't, and he knows it. I know, it's complicated, but don't you see, that the problem is my sin. I'm selfish and I'm liar. Sin.

What is the solution to this settling/sinning problem?

I tell you, we have got to pursue God's heart even when we don't feel it or even when we don't feel anything at all. He's got a plan, and his perfect time will find us where he intends. So, please, don't settle for less that who God calls a man to be, and ask God to cleanse you and cleanse you and cleanse you.

God, rid us of sin.

Here is a fun picture from a photo booth.

Run Run Run

At the beginning of a new school year I have the opportunity to meet many new students, set new goals, begin new routines, and, along that way, pick up a new attitude. When things are new, I often get stressed like a crazy person running around "trying to get things done."

Why do I do this?
1. I want to be and appear to be responsible and reliable.
2. I dislike chaos, and if I do this and that, the world will be right and everyone will be happy.
3. If I get things done, it will save me from doing it later.
4. I hate having a messy house. It's embarrassing.

Dumb, I know. However, this is one of the biggest battles I face and a self-proclaimed busy person. All week I have been running and doing. I haven't sat down one time to take it all in or just rest my weary self. I'm so exhausted that I fell asleep during church last night and when I was trying to help lead worship, my tired brain couldn't even pick out the correct note to sing. It took all I had just to be standing.

The truth is I often spend a lot of time doing things for God and I forget to take time to know Him.

What a shame. He is there knowing me, but I'm not knowing Him.

Let me emphasize, the God of the universe wants to know us, and he wants us to know him.

God really doesn't cherish these things I do, not matter if I get a bull horn and scream at the top of my lungs all over this college campus that God loves people, or if I run and run and run and run doing things for him, if I'm not knowing his heart, my heart misses His. When I know him, I will do the right things as a result.

I'd love to say more about this, but I'm too busy.

Just kidding.

But that is something I would do. Would you? Do you know Him? Has he spoken a personal word to you this week? If not, why hasn't he? Are you listening? Am I?

Brain power > Brand power

Ladies, I cannot take it anymore.

I must blog about this.

You might think it's a bit "ranty" (I just made that word up). However, we are doing a disservice toward ourselves and the men around us. Don't worry. This rant is complete with pictures.

And it's because I love you.

I deal with young women quite a bit. I pretty much still am one, but I'm working my way up the ladder to being an "older" young woman if that's possible. Also, this married status of mine gives me a glimpse into the man world that a young single girl can't even imagine. It's enlightening, scary, and smells funny at times.

See, a younger me!

This is a difficult subject to discuss because girls get offended when I say modesty and I say very specific clothing articles like if I said (for a very extreme example we can all agree on) "Wearing your bikini to Wal Mart is not modest." Someone out there would disagree with me and think things like. "I look good in my bikini," "I wear it for me," or "It's my body, I do what I want."

I get it. I've been there. I've thought that. It wasn't until I was in a very serious relationship that I really understood just how my clothing effects the inner workings of a man's brain.

My dear sweet husband has explained it in a very understandable and delicate way. He said "Just assume, that whatever amount of skin you are showing, a guy imagines three times as much."

I have a girl brain too and I understand that sounds silly. We generally don't catch ourselves picturing men on the street in tube tops when they are wearing t-shirts, but, ladies, we have heard it straight from the most honest man in the world.

Anyway, after much trial, but mostly error with clothing choices... I have a few pieces of advice.

1. More is more. I have found myself making excuses like "well, I just can't find longer shorts than this", or "When I lose the 5 pounds I'm working on, this will fit more like it should so I'll just keep wearing it." Whatever the excuse is that you have in your head for not covering yourself is a bad one. Just keep in mind that our dear brothers in Christ struggle every day with keeping their minds pure.

2. If you have to do a summersault twisty splits jump to get into your jeans or jeggings, they may not be the best choice. I have put my foot in my mouth before about this subject. I was in front of a group of girls and telling a story about how I bought a pair of jeggings and because of my figure was cat called 7 times a day every time I wore them. I'm not saying no one should ever wear jeggings (which is what some of the girls there listening, wearing jeggings, thought.) Please, consider your body type, the place you are going, and if the tightness of your clothing is distracting. That's all I'm saying.

A funny story- I was in the mall not too long ago with my husband and one of our friends who is a guy. They saw a girl walk by while I was shopping and were appalled. They asked me to find her in the store and make sure she was wearing pants. I found her. They were just very short lace shorts. I learned a valuable lesson that day. To men, Lace = Underwear. Especially if it's super short.

3. Being cat called is not a compliment. When I was younger I ate up this attention. It was even to the point sometimes that if I walked past a guy who I thought should have smiled at me or made a comment to me and he didn't I would go through a dialogue in my head about what must be obviously wrong with the way I look. The past few years I have come to understand that this type of attention is degrading to me. In fact, now it just makes me angry. I recently told Lucas that the next time someone does this to me I'm going to stop and calmly say "I'm married, please have some respect for me and for my husband."

Now, you may not be married, but you might be some day and just like when we freely give away our physical affection, spiritual intimacy, or emotional intimacy to a man who is not our husband, accepting this attention as good is just settling for second best (or third or fourth or fifth). I encourage you to only accept respect and treat yourself as a woman worthy of such. (Not to sound all Sunday school-y but..) Your future husband should treat you as Christ treats the church, being willing to sacrifice himself for you. A cat calling coward is not making any sacrifice for you and is only making himself look like a fool.

I know that fashion is always evolving and I love looking cute as much as the next girl, but we must find a standard for dressing and hold dearly to it regardless of fashion trends. Is there a way that I might confuse the shorts you are wearing for underwear?

Just so you would believe me about this, I asked the most honest man in the world to pick out the most modest outfit he could from my closet for me...

Yea, I know.

But in reality, I have this coworker who always looks modest, yet stylish. I look up to her...

She's a good example of tastefulness.

See, I told you there would be lots of pictures.

Stay Classy!

ANNNGGGGEEEERRRR

You know those days or moments when you are in an extreme mood, or something extreme makes you act a in an extreme way. For instance, let's say that you witness a horrific event like the abuse of a child. Nothing fires me up more than this or seeing a parent yell horrible things at their child in public. This makes me angry in a Jesus type way because I hate that children are mistreated. So, let's say this happened to me, and I see you and I am trying to conceal my anger, but you just know that I am angry in that moment. Now, let's say that you and I are meeting for the first time. You might think "wow, she is an angry person."

On the other end of the spectrum, imagine that I haven't slept much. I don't know about you, but when I don't sleep I get grouchy, but after that comes the most goofy stage of exhaustion. I say the craziest things, laugh a lot and just don't make sense. Imagine meeting me for the first time when I am in this mood. You would think "Wow, she's never serious, so goofy."

However, if you spent an entire week with me when I am sleeping and eating at a normal rate, you will see that I am a pretty regular person. I have moments where I am angry, there are moments when I laugh, and there are times when it is appropriate to be serious, so I am.  You would most likely find that I am generally normal and stable and maybe your first impression of me being goofy or angry are incorrect. In fact, I might be offended if you take just one component of my personality and run and tell the whole world that I am __________ I am just so ___________ all the time I am ____________. You wouldn't like it if someone did that to you either, would ya?

In light of our current world's controversies and our confusion about "religion." I would just like to point out that as you could misrepresent another person to the world, you can also misrepresent God to the world, and to yourself.  The Bible lists many characteristics of God. My favorite list comes from Jonah 4 where God is called gracious, merciful, slow to anger, abounding in steadfast love, and relenting from disaster. That is a lovely list, but here are some characteristics that some might not find to be as lovely: Jealous God whose anger will burn against you (Deut. 6:15), jealous and avenging God (Nahum 1:2), one time God was angry with his people (Ps. 106:40), angry (Jeremiah 10:10)...

(For the context of these verses, please read the entire scripture that would provide that.)

I think you understand. There are many references to God's anger and jealousy, but often we leave out that he is angry and jealous when we do things that are harmful to ourselves and to His kingdom. Sin makes him angry and jealous. In the same way we should hate our own sin. This hate should lead us to extreme measures to avoid sin because we yearn for the holiness that comes only from the goodness of God. 

My dear ole boss Chad Logan once said "Over emphasizing one attribute of God over another attribute that is equally true may lead to a misconception about God." 

We must take the entirety of scripture and know and love it. If you just love the anger of God, you are missing Him. If you just love the love of God, you are missing him. 

Sin is the issue at hand. Let's do everything we can to "... put away all filthiness and rampant wickedness and receive with meekness the implanted word which is able to save our (your) souls."

James 1:21

 

Woo!