Thursday, April 11, 2013

Bridezilla To Be Rescued

As I have said, it is that "marriage time of year." I know of lots of people getting married in the coming spring and summer seasons. I even have the privilege of being a bridesmaid in a dear friend's wedding myself.

A year ago, I was in the position of a young bride-to-be trying to plan out all the little details without my head exploding while still trying to hold a job and a life. There is a lot of pressure on brides today to plan a wedding that guests will be excited about being part of. Each bride carefully has to think of that golden idea that no one else had ever done. Unfortunately, there are a lot of weddings that happen, so that's really really hard.

Anyway, another thing about being a bride-to-be is that person after person wants to hurl unsolicited advice at you about everything from what cookware to buy to how to behave as a bride to sex.

One piece of advice that sticks out to me is very often heard by brides. People say "It's your day. You can make it be however you want," or "only worry about yourself, you shouldn't care what anyone else thinks." Don't get me wrong, I know that in our current tradition of wedding ceremonies the bride is the one calling the shots because previously women couldn't even choose who to marry, they were merely auctioned off to the highest bidder (the guy with the most cows) or told to marry someone based on social of financial gain. So, with this power, brides have taken on the world of making every decision known to (wo)man when it comes to "their wedding."

Back to the advice to be selfish. I find it very odd and contradictory that as believers, we hold this same view of the bride when it comes to her wedding. We tell her its okay to be selfish and that she should forget everyone else. (I truly understand why people say that because it is a truly special day to a bride). However, as a believer, to follow Christ, yet take this one season in life to be a big jerk just doesn't make sense. Instead we should always be humble, even when it's our turn to be the bride.

Furthermore, even if you have a Christ-centered ceremony, but bark orders and be un-pleaseable pre-cremony, you have shown people how truly selfish you are.

Now, don't get be wrong, I wasn't the perfect bride. (There was this one freak out episode about some nail polish by which I am highly embarrassed). However, our wedding photographer gave us the highest compliment by saying that our wedding was the most calm she had ever attended with people not fighting and everyone just enjoying each other. I truly believe that the calmness started with the groom and I and trickled to everyone else. We weren't being crazy, so why should anyone else have?

Trust me, the irony is not lost on me that I was bashing on
people giving bridal advice and then doing it myself, but it needs to be said that you don't have to be a "bridezilla." Think of this as a test of your ability to let the little things go because after you're married you will have needed that practice.

Instead, calm down, eat some chocolate, focus on the fact that you get to marry your love, worship the Lord through it all, and never let the details get you down.

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Thoughts on Marrying Young

I came across an article today asserting that because young people have marriage on a pedestal, instead of marrying the person they are with, they forgo marriage because they don't think it will be idea.

Here it is: http://www.theatlantic.com/sexes/archive/2013/03/the-case-for-getting-married-young/274293/

I found this article to be very interesting and with great insight. I have been in a culture of marriage the past few years because I'm 24 and I'm in the south. In general, people in the south get married younger than those who live in norther regions, but I know that what the article discuesses is a phenomenon I have experienced.

Now, I don't think that everyone should get married young. There is a right time and place for every individual to enter into the covenant of marriage. However, I don't hold to the argument that a person should wait until they "have it together" before they get married.

When Lucas and I got married we chose to do so for many reasons, but one reason was that we wanted to build a life together. We didn't want to go out, make two separate lives and then come back together and get married. (So, maybe I am biased when it comes to this article.)

So, check out this article. There are some points I don't agree on because my faith comes into play, but I like the general idea. So, join in the conversation!

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I want to know your thoughts!

Do you think people should wait until they "have it together" to get married. 

What do you think is the appropriate age to get married?