Let's Celebrate a Life!

Sometimes, the Lord will bring a person into your life at the right time with just the right ways to help pick you up, renew you and make you a better liver of life. I believe that's what the Lord did in my life a little over two years ago.

I remember the first time I saw Lucas. I thought he was the best looking guy I had ever seen, but I didn't imagine that one day we would be married and trying to figure out this life together.

However, knowing him has changed me, and I find this to be a beautiful parallel to how knowing the Lord changes a person. I want to share with you all some things that knowing him has taught me, and probably some other funny things along the way.

1. I have learned to not take myself so seriously. Before I knew Lucas I was a feminine whirlwind doing my best to "take care of myself," and I conquered the world one task after another. Knowing Lucas has taught me to calm myself down, and laugh when things don't go as planned. Sometimes, when we realize how silly our human plans are, we really see the majesty of God.

2. I have learned to chill out. Like, literally, sit and do nothing. I probably don't do this as often as I should, but I've always had this thing where I think I need to be busy all the time.  Some of Lucas's most frequent words to me are probably "Can we just chill?" I'm so thankful for this. It will probably save my blood pressure when I'm old too!

3. Lucas has taught me to see with more "spiritual" eyes. I am a very practical thinker, and He is a very discerning man when it comes to the things of the Lord and questions of "what should we do to honor the Lord?" There have been countless times in the past two years where I have seen Lucas decisively say "I know this is what the Lord wants us to do," when that really wasn't my opinion, but we did that and were so blessed and other people came to know the Lord more than they did before as a result of his faithfulness.

4. I call Lucas "the most honest man in the world" because it's true. One of the most important things I have learned form Lucas is complete honesty. I'm still working on this one, but I have always been very honest 90% of the way, but like to withhold just enough information to remain mysterious or just know something that other people don't. But this man.. He doesn't leave out those details and he is more honest than anyone I know, honest with himself and with others.

I could go on for hours, but I love birthdays because it is an opportunity to let a person know just how important they are to you and how happy you are that they were born. Take a minute to think about what life would be like if the Lord had never breathed life into the people closest to you.

I think that sometimes on the birthdays of our loved ones we go through the obligatory rituals of birthday celebration without really taking time to savor the fact that they were skillfully placed in our lives to minister to us in some way or another. (Even if their ministry is the trying of our patience). I hope that in the future we can really celebrate from a place that says "if you weren't born, my life would be different." Isn't it true that the Lord uses the people in our lives to shape who we are. (Just think about how you are turning into your parents).

There are some things that just aren't accidental, so let's celebrate from the depths of our hearts and give gifts and hugs and smiles and laughter that say "I see you, as I person, I see you, I see and know your heart and I am thankful for it."

Happy Birthday you, crazy, sweet man! I love knowing you and I look forward to knowing you more! 

Let's Just Call it Life

Lately, I've been learning a whole lot about missions and missions opportunities. I know countless people who are going out and sacrificing time and money to serve the Lord by taking his name to the world.

Hallelujah!! I am so thankful this is happening and I know that many people are sincerely called by God to this ministry.

The question: Where does that leave us who are just living where we live and doing what we do? Are we called?

Most usually when we hear “missions” people think that means we have to get up, walk to our neighbor’s door and say “Do you know Jesus.”

·      I’m not saying this is a wrong thing, but many, especially in my generation, after these encounters people are left thinking that we don't care about them as a person and we are just trying to get converts.

·      I have been on trips designed around this premise and I walked away feeling like I really didn’t know if any of the “conversions” were genuine.

·      I walked away feeling defeated and thought “If I could just stay with them longer, I could really know and disciple them.”

These types of revelations led me into knowing that in life, I do not wish to be that type of “evangelist.’ 

·      But we can’t go with what I think is right or true, we have to look at the scripture.

When churches or others do a big missions talk we usually use this scripture passage:

Matthew 28:18-20 “Then Jesus Came to them and said all authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore Go and MAKE DISCIPLES of ALL NATIONS, BAPTIZING them in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

This is great, and Jesus really intends for this to be our life’s goal, but often we miss it.

·      We take the part that says GO! And we think that we have to go

·      We think that if we aren’t in another country, we aren’t on mission

·      It doesn’t say “Get your passport, pack your bag, get on a plane, ride 15 hours, then make disciples.”

·      AS WE GO ABOUT OUR LIVES our call is to missions.

·      We can’t put this word in a box or category in our minds

·      Our life In Christ is a mission!!!!!

Also, let's not that the passage says to "make disciples." It doesn't say "convert people." 

·      When we “convert,” the most important thing we can do is invest. It’s even more important than the conversion.

·      Discipleship lets converts know that this is real.

·      Discipleship lets converts know that their new family of believers truly cares

·      Discipleships leads converts to make new disciples. 

Ladies and gentlemen, let's call this the life of the believer. Sometimes, when we have the opportunity to share we walk away thinking that we are something special for sharing God's word. Let's work to not make that something special or outlandish. Let's call it life. 

The Good We Ought to Do

When I was in high school, it was not big deal at all for me to ditch my plans immediately when it came to getting the attention of a boy. I would drop my plans with a girlfriend in seconds flat. I believe that it even go to the point to where they wouldn't be surprised at all when I said "something came up."

Now, I am a testy lady. I find myself tired most days, and I am definitely not a morning person. Someone can say one sentence to me and it takes every fiber in my being to not throw knives at them, or lash out into a rage. (To be honest). However, most days I can give a neutral reaction, though that is far from my nature at the time. I walk away patting myself on the back saying, "you just saved their life."

But now I'm thinking, what if (with the power of Christ) I went beyond "neutral" and found my reactions to be a "10" on the encouraging scale. No, it's not in my nature. But scripture tells me that I should say things that build people up and benefit those who listen.

I know in my little brain that I should encourage, but instead, I am neutral.

It may seem insignificant.

But I just read James 4:17 which says, "Anyone, then who knows the good he ought to do and does not do it, to him it is sin."

In this context, to the best of my knowledge James is talking to the wealthy people who have a lot of money with which they could choose to either do good, or to be selfish.

The principle we can take from this text is that if there is good to be done, we ought to do it.

One night last week my husband and I were watching Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. I love that show. I cry and cry because deserving people get treated to something nice they could never afford on their own. My husband, though, was enraged and said "This show shouldn't even be necessary. The church should be doing this." (He's a wise man).

I could go on with examples, but my point is that there is good to be done

In the name of Christ.

What is the good you ought to be doing?




Oh, Happy Halloween!!!

Why the Inconsistency?

Sometimes in life, we just can't get a grip on who we want to be. We feel a pull between "good" and "evil" contstantly. We want to pursue God, but sin get a hold on our affections and we can't look away.


We do thing like worship on Sundays and then go away and talk bad about our friend or sister in Christ. In James, he says that someone who does that is "double-minded" and "unstable." Ouchie, James. That hurts.

We do things like Praise Jesus and promote modesty all year long, until Halloween comes around, then we like to show the things our Mamma gave us.

We do things like sleep an extra hour instead of spending time with the Lord.

I know it's a struggle that is not easily overcome, but when we TRULY seek his face, ladies, we will find HIM. When we find him we don't need extra sleep, to talk bad about people, or to show off what our Mamma gave us to get attention from males (disgraceful attention, I might add).

I feel this battle in my life every day. I know more and more what a ridiculous human being I am. Ya know what I'm saying? Do you ever get to the end of the day and feel like this:




Even Paul said "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I do I hate." (Romans 7:15, NIV)

Do you ever find yourself here?

Paul was writing my heart's song right here. I keep crying out "Lord please change me."

I will say, the change comes, but it's ever so slow.

And it is with ever so much purpose that I cannot understand.

The Lord is truly working in us when we ask him do. I long for the day that you can I can do the things we want and not do the thing we don't want. Until then, I urge all of us to earnestly seek his face and flee sin.



Flee Immodesty



Flee Gossip



Flee Laziness



Flee Sin.



Lord, we Need You.

For Mr. Hickman

Today as I was sitting beside my husband eating lunch, I picked up my bread, which was a little brown for my taste, and began to break it apart to dip it in my tomato sauce. As I was breaking it, I realized that it was rather crunchy. At that moment, my husband reached over and told me to trade him pieces of bread. He did this because his was nice and moist.

This moment was one of beauty. I could have wept, but  I held it back. Why? Because in that moment I knew that I was known by him.  He knows I don't like crunchy bread. It wasn't the crunchy bread. I would have eaten it and moved on with my life, but by trading me bread he was saying "I see your desires and I'm doing what I can to provide for them."

I've been reading a lot of things lately about love, sex, and relationships. The most common theme I am recognizing in my reading is that when it comes to "love," every human being just has a desire to be known.

Someone a lot smarter than me, Dannah Gresh, wrote a book called What are You Waiting For?: The One Thing No One Ever Told You About Sex. 

In this lovely and honest book she discusses this truth, that the desire to be know sometimes leads hurting people to physical sex that isn't fulfilling and leaves them damaged. She discusses the connotation of the Hebrew word "yada" that means "to know, to be known, to be deeply respected." Gresh points out that this is the desire of the human heart and how to overcome damage done in the past. I reccomend this book to any high school or college age young woman whether she has struggled with sexual sin or not.

Even as a married woman, this book has resonated with me and I am still discovering my deep desire to be known and deeply respected by the love of my life. I am also discovering the importance of knowing and respecting him.

Mostly I am writing this blog because I want the world to know how I love and appreciate Mr. Lucas Hickman, the poor soul who has been married to me for 4 months yesterday. I'm so grateful for his effort to know and look out for my every need every minute. I'm also thankful for such a fun best friend.

Thank you, dear. Happy 4 month-a-versary (a day late).

I love you.

(And to everyone else, stay tuned tomorrow for the top 5 things I have learned in the last 4 months, some really funny, some very serious heart matters).

You're all swell too.

But here is a picture of myself and my love in Hawaii...

Have a happy day, friends. I know I am.

Don't Ask Me to Share my Dessert

I am a sweets enthusiast. I love to eat them and cook them. If it is coated with, cooked in, or contains sugar I am all in. I will eat it until I can contain no more, or until I go into a coma. When I was a kid often times I would have a Mountain Dew and Chocolate Pop-Tarts for breakfast (the Nabisco kind) if my mom wasn't looking.

I love them so much that I hate when I have to share. When I was younger and my family went to a restaurant and it was time to order dessert I would let everyone know that I needed my very own. My mom would always say "I'm not going to order one. I'll just take a bite of yours'" Nine times out of ten "a bite" meant "I'm just going to eat half of it." This would make me so mad, but usually I kept my cool.

At the end of my sophomore year of college my mom and I went on a vacation to visit some friends in Arizona. We went to eat at many great places, but I found my breaking point at Macaroni Grill where they have AWESOME desserts. We were discussing which one to order and with my sweet tooth in full craving mode when she said the bite thing, I said "I"m not sharing!! Get your own dessert!" Now, I realize that this is not the Christ like attitude that I avidly promote, but its the truth of my downfall that I am working to deal with.

This is an actual photo from this incident. Our friend Cheryl was making fun of my outburst!
Thank the Lord for good friends who let you see how silly you are.

It's even so bad that I secretly get mad anytime anyone asks me for a bite of my brownie, candy bar, or even for one of my Hershey Kisses. I dread the day that I have kids who I want to teach to be healthy eaters and have to either hide or share my desserts. (It's that serious).

Yes, I have this "thing" that I grasp onto for dear life just like how we all have certain sins that we refuse to share and bring light to. We get caught up in the entrapment of lies and leave people who really care to know our hears in the dark and say "I'm not sharing!!" This is a definite downfall of mine. I hate to admit that I'm wrong and I hate letting anyone see the deepest places of my hurt where hurt and secrets can fester.

When we hold on to secret sin it tears up our souls from the inside out (much like diabetes to our body). It ruins our relationships with great people, and it makes us afraid to look at ourselves (much like eating too many sweets, if you know what I mean).

Ecclesiastes 12:14 says "For God will bring every deed into judgement, with every secret thing, whether good or evil."

Selfishness isn't only holding onto good things in life. I believe that it also includes holding on to the darkest parts of our hearts because we believe that we can handle it alone. The truth is that we cannot go on like that. Our hearts are meant to be seen in the light, that's why it's coming in the future.

Let's prepare for that light-bringing process now, and put it out there to those who care most and who want to speak tenderly to our hearts and hold us accountable.

I'm Staging a Protest

REALLY. 

I am staging a protest. 

And it's not my first time. I am a professional by now.

When I was in high school, ninth grade to be exact, I began protesting the bus for the rest of my high school career. I would do whatever it took to not ride the bus home from school. I was even known to stay on campus until 5 when my mom got off work and she could come pick me up. A couple times, I even walked home.

One time I didn't talk to my brother for 3 months, that one was tiring, but I did it!

Today, I am protesting make-up because I don't want to wear it and I don't have to. (A few days ago my husband told me that he thinks all women in America should stop wearing make-up because it would save them time and money. We decided we couldn't get it to work because of the hierarchy of women in the world who say that if we don't cake the stuff on, we are not feminine. Dumb.)

This is me rocking that natural look! 

This is an important protest, but I have made the decision to protest something even more important:

ANGER.

When studying James this week I have been punched in the throat by James 1:19-20 which says: "Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God."

Usually, my beloved husband is the object of my anger. I promise, I didn't know what anger was until I met him. (Note that I also didn't understand most emotions). But when you love someone so dearly your emotions can just go haywire when it comes to them (No matter who they are). (Don't judge, if you don't know what I mean, you will). 

Whatever the trigger of my anger, it happens quickly and brings me to illogical conclusions faster than a man can jump out of the line of fire at a garter toss (I've been to a lot of weddings lately, okay?).

When I allow myself to become angry, I allow myself to be fooled. I allow myself to think many things that aren't true. I allow myself to feel unloved. I allow myself to forget the hard work I had put into the relationship in question AND I just say things: wrong things, untrue things, and it hurts my soul.

It also hurts your soul. Anger can lead to bitterness and resentment that is difficult to overcome. It can lead to ruined relationships all over a little emotion, when forgiveness is what would be best for everyone involved.

So, join me in this protest.

Today, tomorrow and all the days after that, let's be slow to anger. We have to make the decision to move past anger and immediately forgive. You will find your self free and your mind clear. Who is your anger hurting? Someone else? Or yourself?

Ask the Holy Spirit to keep you from anger and lead you to forgiveness.