An Honest Post About Honesty

Honesty, what a concept. My husband is the most honest person in the whole world. It's so true. I'll keep saying it until the cows come home. Knowing him has taught me many truths about honesty and this concept the 'youngins' call 'being real.'

In honor of his honesty, here is a cute picture of him. 

So, let's talk about what being real means (in my humble opinion), and what being real is not.

-Sometimes we under-appreciate honesty. Sometimes we take the truth personally. When someone tells us a truth we take it as a personal attack (when it's not desirable truth) and get our feelings hurt and, consequently scold the other person for speaking truth.

-Realness is face to face (Not stinking text message). When is the last time you had a face to face conversation with another human being about the true desires and thoughts of your heart? Do you have someone to whom you can expose the true desires of your heart? Both the ugly and beautiful?

-Since it is face-to-face, realness is not on social media. We've all done it. We carefully go through pictures that we are tagged in and untag those that do not flatter us. We say very thoughtful and lengthy compliments to our friends while we hide bitterness and jealousy in our hearts. We only post things to show the world how great and perfect our lives are. This is not real life.

-We avoid truth in the day-to-day. We lie to ourselves.

What do you do in life to save face, avoid necessary honest talks, and keep yourself looking pristine?

When was the last time you rebuked a friend in a Godly and Biblical fashion?

Now, I must note that the danger I have found in my own developing honesty is the difficult to manage 'brutal honesty.' It is easy to confuse being honest with just being plain rude.

Yes, this is tough. I'm feeling convicted.

Hey, I have an idea! Let's do our thing and ask the Father to show us how.

To Feel Love

Today I am overjoyed to feel ever so loved. That is, loved by my husband as well as my heavenly father. Since all love comes from the Father and He is Love, I can't mention being loved without mentioning him. It is a beautiful picture how God can use men as a picture of himself and women as a picture of his church.

I left for work this morning feeling loved, taken care of and pursued. I am very blessed to have this life. I can remember a time (not very long ago, mind you) that I didn't really believe that this type of love existed. I never knew very many men who exhibited this selfless, laying down your life, kind of love.

This is me at the top of Diamond Head in Honolulu looking over God's creation. 

So, what did I do? I grasped. I grasped on to whatever I could for a moment of stability or a moment of temporary fulfillment. I might have been grasping onto my pride that I can do whatever I want because I'm awesome. I might have been grasping onto the thought of a boy who I knew wasn't sent from the Lord, but I knew would give me a few moments attention. I might have even grasped too firmly onto friendships that took my affections away from the Lord. Whatever the case, we've all done this at some point whether we are single or not.

I do want to speak specifically to single ladies today, though (if you aren't one, please take a listen for the sake of understanding). I am amazed at the girls in the youth group Lucas and I help with and how they adore our imperfect relationship and in their eyes we are the perfect couple and long for someone to call their own. They eat, sleep and breathe relationships and love and everything that will give you warm fuzzies if you think on it long enough.

I know I was that way at one point to some extent. I focused on every good-looking man that walked by, and if he didn't give me a second look I knew that something had to be wrong with me. Wow, my mind was so warped.

Many other scenarios happen with young ladies who are looking for love. I could really go on for days with stories of people I know and my personal stories, but we don't have those kinds of attention spans.

Ladies, I also know that you hate hearing people say "But this is the time in your life when you need to get to know God." or the dreaded "Jesus is your Prince Charming." I get it, I loathe when people say cheesy and stereotypical things, especially about something so personal and serious.

Let me say, it is your time to spend with your Father. Serve Him, chase Him, love Him with all your heart. He has a perfect will that is about His kingdom. When we can take the focus off of what we want out of life and focus on his perfect will that we know Him, life is not perfect, but we can grasp the beauty of our situation, not matter what it is.

Be encouraged today because your story really doesn't belong to you. We serve a God who is above traditions, cultural boundaries, religion, family values, and every other thing humans invented to make ourselves feel normal.

Seek Him with me today. He sure is pursuing us.

Wisdom for Each Day

Today I have the privilege of being married for one month. He is a good man. I am more convinced of this the more I know him.

So far, marriage has been an interesting ride for us as we have hardly been home and I've been sick half the time. I guess you could say we are starting real life with a dose of real life. Do you remember when you were 10 and you thought to the future about high school and how grown up and smart you would be by then? Then when you were in high school you thought about how much you would know when you got to college and how mature you would be? Then, do you remember college when everyone is dreaming about big careers, perfect marriages and great family life?

I am in that just married stage and I know that we are just a month in and I am a self-admitting rookie. I have learned a few things though:

1. Marriage is harder than it looks. This adjusting period is difficult. Laying down your desires and putting someone else first seems poetic and even romantic, but in the ticking clock of real life, it's just plain hard.

2. I am sooooo immature. All those dreams I had when I was younger about how wise I would be are just silly as I look back upon them. I'm now begging the Lord for wisdom in every moment. (Because James 1:5 says to ask for wisdom and the Lord will give it.) Boy do I need it.

3. I'm not saying that I condone this in any form or fashion, but I see why people divorce so quickly in our society. How could a society that teaches us to look out for number one produce strong marriages? I am convinced that a marriage could never live up to its full potential without wisdom and grace that comes only from the Lord.

Now, don't go off thinking this post is all about me. It's about us, I promise. What is that thing you think you have figured out? What is that thing you are failing miserably at? Where is the Lord in your situation? Have you asked him or wisdom today?

Goodness, people, we need Him. On our own, we are just sinful and naive children dreaming about a future that only He writes.

When I was a Freshman

This is me on move-in day as a freshman with my first college
roommate, Beth. I realize I look pretty much the same 5 years later.

Right about now, my summer in inundated with freshman planning and contacting for the fall. I love those little fellas. I have been thinking a bit about my time as a freshman and what I would have/ should have done differently, and these are a few things I wish I would have known. Please, feel free to comment on this blog and add to the list!!

1. Learn how to study. A lot of sharp kids get away with not studying in high school, but it doesn't work in college. If you don't have study skills ask a smart friend for some help. It works wonders.

2. Dating in college is slightly more serious. Hanging out with a different boy every night might be cool, but it is not wise.

3. Parties are really boring if you don't drink alcohol. The solution to this problem is up to you.

4. Roommates do not have to be your best friend. I always worked best with a roommate if we got along, but generally did our own thing. I like to think of it as a business transaction. We live together to split the bills, if we happen to want to be friends that is a great bonus. (Some people think this is cold, but it worked for me).

5. Money is not everything. This is a lesson I'm learning still, but professors and other filled my mind with dreams of always driving a brand new car and having plenty. I'm learning that God is sufficient.

6. College is a time for growth and self-discovery. Ask yourself important questions like "what's my purpose in life."

7. Hanging out by yourself is better than being drug down by the wrong people. (I took an entire semester where I hung out with my parents every weekend, and it was so worth it).

8. The freshman 15 is real.

Freshman year is such an exciting time full or new people and experiences. Let's remember that this is also a very important year. Namely in the first two weeks freshmen set patterns that will be with them the rest of their college career. Let's not get caught up in this thought pattern that "when I get older I'll straighten up." Let's all work toward being the person that we want to be 30 years from now.

Renew Your Mind

This week I've spend some time with students at camp. I love camp and I love that it can be a huge turning point in the lives of many.

I've noticed a few things about students today (and even some of this applies to myself).

1. We don't know how to study God's word. I'm not sure whose fault it is. I wonder if the church is not teaching is or if we are not listening. What ever the case, these kids are the church and will be teaching my kids one day. How can we know the Lord if we randomly read sentences from the Bible (as many do in their time with God) and not take in-depth looks at these beautiful passages?

2. We are hurting. People haven't changed. Students are hurting because at one time their parents were hurting. We live in a cycle of bad decisions due to sin and hurt that is never resolved. God is our healer.

3. I'd say we often do not heal because we do not trust God to renew our minds. Romans 12:2 says we should be transformed by the renewing of our minds so we can test God's perfect will. I know my mind needs renewal, my first thoughts or reactions are often nasty.

Join me, please. Let's renew our minds in God's word. His good and perfect Will is about the kingdom, not our problems.

Illusion of Control

Do you ever wonder if life will slow down?

I do. All the time. Then it does, then I try to figure out what it is that I'm not doing that I ought to be doing. After all, I'm useless just sitting there, right?

Wow, I'm so American.

This idea that we have to be "doing" is so human. We even carry this over into our spiritual lives and think "I must be doing something for the Lord." This leads to guilt when we don't have that special "quiet time." This leads to guilt when we just need some rest on Sunday night and can't find the strength to make it to church. This leads to guilt when we fall asleep reading God's word. This leads to guilt when we don't have the words to say to a friend. We think "If I really knew God like I should, I would have the perfect thing to say.

Ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to my brain. I think all these things, but, thank goodness, just because I think or feel it doesn't mean its true. In fact Jeremiah 17:9 says "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?" (NIV).

So, let's deal with this issue. As human beings we feel much better when we can check off a list of do's and don'ts to monitor our progress. (I always feel very accomplished when I can check of a to-do list) Don't get me wrong, I do think that we grow deeper spiritually, and our understanding of our Father and who he is is broadened with time, study, and prayer. However, I don't think there is any scale upon which we can measure like the quiet-time-o-meter where 365 quiet times a year earns us points.

You know those days when you can't drag yourself out of bed and all day when things go wrong you think "If would have just prayed this morning this wouldn't have happened." Possible, yes it is. But what a pedestal we place our actions upon when think that have that much control over a whole day.

I'm coming to terms with the fact that this is far beyond my human understanding and right in the strong grasp of God's understanding. He wants me to walk with Him so badly he's jealous when I stray. I hold that we think these thoughts because as humans we have the illusion of control over the every day. Today, let's put down our illusions of control, our to do list for God and listen to him, seek him every moment, and simply walk with him.

For the Love of ___________

I was telling my husband recently about how writing is just imprinted on my soul. I feel like a much more complete person when I can utilize the written word to express my inner most thoughts. Sometimes when we are having a very serious conversation I get very emotional and I can't talk anymore without blubbering, so I will simply write down what I would love to say out loud, but simply can't. I'm a lot more keen at writing my personal thoughts than saying them out loud. One of my favorite things to do is write a letter to my love or a friend when I have something very personal to say because I know the delivery will be much more smooth.

Since I have been blogging (a few days, haha) I feel like a more complete person. I believe that the Lord has inspired me to share with you, especially you young women.

I say all this so that I can pose this question: What is your passion?

What is it that the Lord has gifted you with and why aren't you pursuing Godly use of it?

(If you are, kudos to you! Just don't let your talent get your ego growing.)

Be inspired, friends.