Bridezilla To Be Rescued

As I have said, it is that "marriage time of year." I know of lots of people getting married in the coming spring and summer seasons. I even have the privilege of being a bridesmaid in a dear friend's wedding myself.

A year ago, I was in the position of a young bride-to-be trying to plan out all the little details without my head exploding while still trying to hold a job and a life. There is a lot of pressure on brides today to plan a wedding that guests will be excited about being part of. Each bride carefully has to think of that golden idea that no one else had ever done. Unfortunately, there are a lot of weddings that happen, so that's really really hard.

Anyway, another thing about being a bride-to-be is that person after person wants to hurl unsolicited advice at you about everything from what cookware to buy to how to behave as a bride to sex.

One piece of advice that sticks out to me is very often heard by brides. People say "It's your day. You can make it be however you want," or "only worry about yourself, you shouldn't care what anyone else thinks." Don't get me wrong, I know that in our current tradition of wedding ceremonies the bride is the one calling the shots because previously women couldn't even choose who to marry, they were merely auctioned off to the highest bidder (the guy with the most cows) or told to marry someone based on social of financial gain. So, with this power, brides have taken on the world of making every decision known to (wo)man when it comes to "their wedding."

Back to the advice to be selfish. I find it very odd and contradictory that as believers, we hold this same view of the bride when it comes to her wedding. We tell her its okay to be selfish and that she should forget everyone else. (I truly understand why people say that because it is a truly special day to a bride). However, as a believer, to follow Christ, yet take this one season in life to be a big jerk just doesn't make sense. Instead we should always be humble, even when it's our turn to be the bride.

Furthermore, even if you have a Christ-centered ceremony, but bark orders and be un-pleaseable pre-cremony, you have shown people how truly selfish you are.

Now, don't get be wrong, I wasn't the perfect bride. (There was this one freak out episode about some nail polish by which I am highly embarrassed). However, our wedding photographer gave us the highest compliment by saying that our wedding was the most calm she had ever attended with people not fighting and everyone just enjoying each other. I truly believe that the calmness started with the groom and I and trickled to everyone else. We weren't being crazy, so why should anyone else have?

Trust me, the irony is not lost on me that I was bashing on
people giving bridal advice and then doing it myself, but it needs to be said that you don't have to be a "bridezilla." Think of this as a test of your ability to let the little things go because after you're married you will have needed that practice.

Instead, calm down, eat some chocolate, focus on the fact that you get to marry your love, worship the Lord through it all, and never let the details get you down.

Thoughts on Marrying Young

I came across an article today asserting that because young people have marriage on a pedestal, instead of marrying the person they are with, they forgo marriage because they don't think it will be idea.

Here it is: http://www.theatlantic.com/sexes/archive/2013/03/the-case-for-getting-married-young/274293/

I found this article to be very interesting and with great insight. I have been in a culture of marriage the past few years because I'm 24 and I'm in the south. In general, people in the south get married younger than those who live in norther regions, but I know that what the article discuesses is a phenomenon I have experienced.

Now, I don't think that everyone should get married young. There is a right time and place for every individual to enter into the covenant of marriage. However, I don't hold to the argument that a person should wait until they "have it together" before they get married.

When Lucas and I got married we chose to do so for many reasons, but one reason was that we wanted to build a life together. We didn't want to go out, make two separate lives and then come back together and get married. (So, maybe I am biased when it comes to this article.)

So, check out this article. There are some points I don't agree on because my faith comes into play, but I like the general idea. So, join in the conversation!

Comment on this blog

Tweet me at @hannalhickman

or email me at hannalhickman@gmail.com

I want to know your thoughts!

Do you think people should wait until they "have it together" to get married. 

What do you think is the appropriate age to get married?

It really is time to change.

It really is time for some changes to be made, but I'm not talking about the social changes that are probably coming to your mind. I'm talking about a change in our spirit.

I can't begin to tell you the amount of times I have heard someone say or do something off-putting or inappropriate, have someone call them out on it, then the original person say "I'm always like that," or "That's just the way I am."

Now, trust me, I'm as ornery as the next human. I hate changing who I am in any form or
fashion because as far as I'm concerned, I'm awesome.

But when I look at the whole of scripture I see a God who is constantly calling individuals and peoples to change.  All the time in scripture God told people to do exactly the opposite of what they wanted. I'm not asserting that God always makes us do exactly what we don't want to do because that is not true at all. However, at times, he truly refines us by asking us to step out in faith and change for his name's sake.

As a personal example. I love being sarcastic. It's so fun because I can truly say whatever I want and no one really knows whether I am being serious or not, so people just laugh it off. Not to mention, I'm really good at it. But Ephesians 4:29 says "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." So, for me to continue on never being sincere with others, would be against the work the Holy Spirit wants to do in me, so I must stop being so "hilarious" and change the way I interact with others.

The truth is that we were all born with predispositions to act certain ways. Everyone has their thing. You may love making inappropriate jokes, or you may have decided on a career a long time ago that you know isn't what God wants for your life, or you may love to eat more food than anyone and show everyone how good you are at eating, or you may never say a rude thing to a person, but always think them in the secret corners of your mind. 1 Peter 1:1-3 says "Therefore, rid yourselves of malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind. Like newborn babes, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, now that you have tasted that the Lord is good." (NIV)

To go on with life and say of our shortcomings "this is just the way I am" is a total cop out. Where is the growth in that? When we give our lives to Christ, we are surrendering. We are called to change. We are called to run from sin no matter how subtle. I'll be the first to tell you how much I hate changing. It simply exhausts me to be in a season of change. I am as I type this blog, but I'm holding on to the knowledge that God is really the one writing this story.

I'm sure you're awesome like me, but let's get ourselves together and be sanctified by His Word.

We have to change!

And here is a cute picture from our spring break trip to PCB last week. 

Mary Probably Didn't Know

This morning my boss keeps singing the song "Mary Did You Know?" He always has a special way of singing random songs in the office right next to mine and getting them stuck in my head for days. I don't know about you, but I really like to ponder on the lyrics that are laid on the hearts of song writers.

At this point, this song may seem cheesy and outdated. However, the writer poses a great question.

Mary, you 13 year old girl who is had a baby by way of the Holy Spirit, did you know what an impact this birth would have on humanity?

My guess is that Mary really didn't know. I know in my life when I look back on the wonders that God has done, prior to that doing, I did not know. It is incredibly difficult for our minds to comprehend the work that God has brewing all around us. It is hard to us to comprehend the magnitude of wonder and majesty that happened in that one baby delivered by the young Mary.

So, look at your life and think of all the insignificance and ask yourself, is it really?

I know in my life, God has used tiny whispers into my spirit of the spirit of others to bring about great change and salvation.

In Colossians 3:17 the scripture says "And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him."

Mary probably didn't know, but in the beautiful story of Jesus' birth she calls herself a servant of the Lord and says that she is willing.

Think about the beauty: Mary did not know the fullness of God's plan, but she was willing.

Is that what you have done today. Have you laid aside your want to have comfort and "have your baby" in your own time with the father of your choosing, or are you prepared to be a chosen instrument of God's mighty hand in the smallest or biggest way?

Change

I was scrolling through Twitter minding everyone else's business when I came across a retweet originally by an account called "the real Megan Fox," I think if they have to say it's real, then it's not, but that's not what matters here. The tweet said:

 "Don't change for anyone. They should love you for who you are, or you don't need them in your life"

Now, there are some absolute grains of truth in this little quote, but when I hear things like this I get all in a fight with myself because I have a tendency to think this way. When someone is unhappy with something I do or say I think things like "Why don't they love me for me?" or "They don't except me for who I am."

I think there is a tension that exists between the world and the Holy Spirit within me. On one hand, the world blasts the sentiment "DO WHAT YOU WANT," and that Holy Spirit says "This is not about you."

I understand that the quotes like this are probably aimed at hopeless romantic adolescents, but we all need to understand that true love sometimes requires change.

Even I feel like this is a total Jesus juke, but the truth is that Jesus changed his surroundings, his comfort, his everything to show us His love. 

And the truth is that the scripture calls for sanctification in Christ Jesus. We are called every day to lay aside the things we want and pursue His heart. 

The truth is that when something about my personality is laced in sin and pride, it needs to go. For example, I like being sarcastic all the time (and I am rather funny). But if the point of my jokes is to raise my self above others and make them feel like less, that is sin, and it is wrong. 

It's a tough life for a believer who lives in a world that boasts of the ability to "be yourself," but in Philippians 1:21 Paul says "For me, to live is Christ and to die is gain." 

Do we really think about the weight of what that means? Paul is saying that life is not a matter of seeking his own comfort of advancement. This means that every decision, even down to personality traits we choose to nurse into life, can help to advance the Kingdom of God. 

Paul was looking toward Heaven in this chapter noting that he can't wait to be with his maker, but he knows that his earthly life is necessary. 

I could go on for days. But let's take time today to think about our lives and whether we are waiting for everyone to accept us for who we are, or whether we are pursuing losing our selves. 







A funny picture:

Let's Celebrate a Life!

Sometimes, the Lord will bring a person into your life at the right time with just the right ways to help pick you up, renew you and make you a better liver of life. I believe that's what the Lord did in my life a little over two years ago.

I remember the first time I saw Lucas. I thought he was the best looking guy I had ever seen, but I didn't imagine that one day we would be married and trying to figure out this life together.

However, knowing him has changed me, and I find this to be a beautiful parallel to how knowing the Lord changes a person. I want to share with you all some things that knowing him has taught me, and probably some other funny things along the way.

1. I have learned to not take myself so seriously. Before I knew Lucas I was a feminine whirlwind doing my best to "take care of myself," and I conquered the world one task after another. Knowing Lucas has taught me to calm myself down, and laugh when things don't go as planned. Sometimes, when we realize how silly our human plans are, we really see the majesty of God.

2. I have learned to chill out. Like, literally, sit and do nothing. I probably don't do this as often as I should, but I've always had this thing where I think I need to be busy all the time.  Some of Lucas's most frequent words to me are probably "Can we just chill?" I'm so thankful for this. It will probably save my blood pressure when I'm old too!

3. Lucas has taught me to see with more "spiritual" eyes. I am a very practical thinker, and He is a very discerning man when it comes to the things of the Lord and questions of "what should we do to honor the Lord?" There have been countless times in the past two years where I have seen Lucas decisively say "I know this is what the Lord wants us to do," when that really wasn't my opinion, but we did that and were so blessed and other people came to know the Lord more than they did before as a result of his faithfulness.

4. I call Lucas "the most honest man in the world" because it's true. One of the most important things I have learned form Lucas is complete honesty. I'm still working on this one, but I have always been very honest 90% of the way, but like to withhold just enough information to remain mysterious or just know something that other people don't. But this man.. He doesn't leave out those details and he is more honest than anyone I know, honest with himself and with others.

I could go on for hours, but I love birthdays because it is an opportunity to let a person know just how important they are to you and how happy you are that they were born. Take a minute to think about what life would be like if the Lord had never breathed life into the people closest to you.

I think that sometimes on the birthdays of our loved ones we go through the obligatory rituals of birthday celebration without really taking time to savor the fact that they were skillfully placed in our lives to minister to us in some way or another. (Even if their ministry is the trying of our patience). I hope that in the future we can really celebrate from a place that says "if you weren't born, my life would be different." Isn't it true that the Lord uses the people in our lives to shape who we are. (Just think about how you are turning into your parents).

There are some things that just aren't accidental, so let's celebrate from the depths of our hearts and give gifts and hugs and smiles and laughter that say "I see you, as I person, I see you, I see and know your heart and I am thankful for it."

Happy Birthday you, crazy, sweet man! I love knowing you and I look forward to knowing you more! 

Let's Just Call it Life

Lately, I've been learning a whole lot about missions and missions opportunities. I know countless people who are going out and sacrificing time and money to serve the Lord by taking his name to the world.

Hallelujah!! I am so thankful this is happening and I know that many people are sincerely called by God to this ministry.

The question: Where does that leave us who are just living where we live and doing what we do? Are we called?

Most usually when we hear “missions” people think that means we have to get up, walk to our neighbor’s door and say “Do you know Jesus.”

·      I’m not saying this is a wrong thing, but many, especially in my generation, after these encounters people are left thinking that we don't care about them as a person and we are just trying to get converts.

·      I have been on trips designed around this premise and I walked away feeling like I really didn’t know if any of the “conversions” were genuine.

·      I walked away feeling defeated and thought “If I could just stay with them longer, I could really know and disciple them.”

These types of revelations led me into knowing that in life, I do not wish to be that type of “evangelist.’ 

·      But we can’t go with what I think is right or true, we have to look at the scripture.

When churches or others do a big missions talk we usually use this scripture passage:

Matthew 28:18-20 “Then Jesus Came to them and said all authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore Go and MAKE DISCIPLES of ALL NATIONS, BAPTIZING them in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

This is great, and Jesus really intends for this to be our life’s goal, but often we miss it.

·      We take the part that says GO! And we think that we have to go

·      We think that if we aren’t in another country, we aren’t on mission

·      It doesn’t say “Get your passport, pack your bag, get on a plane, ride 15 hours, then make disciples.”

·      AS WE GO ABOUT OUR LIVES our call is to missions.

·      We can’t put this word in a box or category in our minds

·      Our life In Christ is a mission!!!!!

Also, let's not that the passage says to "make disciples." It doesn't say "convert people." 

·      When we “convert,” the most important thing we can do is invest. It’s even more important than the conversion.

·      Discipleship lets converts know that this is real.

·      Discipleship lets converts know that their new family of believers truly cares

·      Discipleships leads converts to make new disciples. 

Ladies and gentlemen, let's call this the life of the believer. Sometimes, when we have the opportunity to share we walk away thinking that we are something special for sharing God's word. Let's work to not make that something special or outlandish. Let's call it life.